Since tomorrow is Halloween in the U.S. I thought I’d do a more playful post today.
First, my Halloween Poem dedicated to Spam.
Spam is annoying.
Spam is crude.
But Spam can be fun,
When it’s used for blogging food!
© 2008 D.L. Mahler
(Remember to use the copyright notice when you reuse this! Because I know you just love it!)
Here’s another one:
There once was a spam folder from Nantucket,
Ooops! That’s for the adult blog! Sorry about that!
(Just Kidding!)
But seriously, when I went to my Yahoo mail this morning, I noticed I had around 81 e-mails in my spam folder. So, I thought, “Why not do a sort of Mad-Libs with the spam!”
I used to buy my kids the “Mad-Libs” booklets when they were younger. If you don’t know what they are, one person would ask the other person to name off different things (like a fruit, a persons name, a color, and so on). As the person would respond, the asker would fill in the answer in a missing space in the sentence. At the end of the list, they would read back the sentences, now filled in with the silly responses and the result was something very funny.
So, I took the From name in the e-mail spam, and/or the subject line and created my busy day. I hope you enjoy my Halloween Treat for you! I underlined the official From or Subject in each sentence for fun.
I’m just going to sit back today and Look inside, we’ve found TRUE love for you 
. But then again, Hi! wants me to come talk to them, so maybe I’ll do that instead. But wait! Hey! Wanna see my pics! looks like another option to spend time on too.
Redhothookups Where a new member is looking for me! wants me to hookup but a asked, “Are we meeting? so I’ll have to look at my calendar and see if I missed something here.
Fling.com sent me two offers to Meet someone sexy tonight. So does that mean I could meet 2 sexy people tonight instead of one?
But then again, SinglesNet says, “2 new singles want to meet you!” but they didn’t say they were sexy, so I may pass on that one. After all 2 more SeXXXy SiNGLeS are waiting for me too!
And once I hook up with all these sexy and non-sexy singles, Carole Cates will save me 40% on the Cialis and Viagra online! But Q says, “It’s my turn!” - wink, wink, nudge, nudge!
Carole Cates also has competition for my Cialis and Viagra sales online from miceu1@yahoo.com who made me the same offer! Wonder which one has free shipping?
But if all else fails, eHarmony Partner has offered me a Free eHarmony Weekend so either way my Cialis or Viagra isn’t lost! Don’t I need to have male anatomy to use that stuff?? Well, I could buy it for him and be prepared. I was a girl scout!
Then again, I may just want to stay home a do a Colon Cleanse to Flush Up 20 in a day! They didn’t state whether I was flushing 20 times a day, or whether I was flushing 20 pounds a day. Hmmmmm, makes you wonder about the water bill on that one!
I may just Stop Fighting Cravings Stop the Weight Gain with VitalAcai or Detofixy Your Body with AcaiBerryCleanse instead. So many cleansers, so little time! How does one choose?
And to prepare for all those sexy dates, I’m going to Get those Perfect Breasts you’d always wanted! with Breast Implants. Funny but none of my former intimate partners ever complained that they weren’t perfect! To think that all these years I’ve been living in denial!
While I’m waiting for my perfect breast implant appointment, I’ll give Professional grade teeth whitening for home use by Luminous Brites a try.
Then I think I’ll call Dish Network HD because they think I’m paying to much for cable TV.
But I did get 6 e-mails from Satellite TV offering me 20 Bucks a Month! I wonder if that means they’ll give me 20 bucks a month or I have to pay 20 bucks a month? And if I got the e-mail 6 times, does that mean my Satellite TV will cost me $120? These e-mails get so confusing!
I also have to stop by Reunion.com because 2 people have searched for me today! They sent it twice so either the same 2 people searched again, or there is another set of 2 people looking for me!
I really should check into Cheap Health Insurance and Term Life Insurance with no medical exam. Thank God the Term Life has no medical exam because my Cheap Health Insurance wouldn’t cover it anyway!
And hey, did you know that CostaRicaLand has the Lowest prices for Land in Costa Rica? I didn’t either!
But you know, I really Need a Cheap Car or a Cheap new Car no matter what your payment history is or bad credit. But it really doesn’t matter because my Credit Score has Changed 3 times today! And the Vehicle Trade-In Manager is going to let me @TRADE IN MY CAR@ twice! That’s double the trade-in value! And the Approval Department said that “We don’t care about your credit Score” so it’s a moot point anyway.
And I can always use some Debt Relief to Get out of Debt! because Debt Relief asked me, “Can you pay your bills this month?” Well, no. Blogging doesn’t pay very well Debt Relief. Can you hook a sister up?
Well, never mind! I just received, 7500.00 guaranteed line of credit - no verification from Instant Approval! And I get another $1500 now with confirmation! My cash flow problems are now over!
I really need to find time today to cash in my 2 Congratulations Victoria Gift Cards by signing up for 100’s of different programs to earn my with Participation and get 3 of my Wal-mart gift cards too! And if I just Confirm Participation, I can have 3 more!
But it doesn’t matter because I won a Wal*Mart 1,000 dollar Gift card in their Giveaway! Along with the UK Natonal Lottery! I’m rich!
Hey, forget the Tip Jar over on the right! Send me your e-mail address and I’ll spread the wealth to you because Munuu Bacunbueb is just praying for a chance to transfer millions to my bank account before he dies. So I better get right on that one!
And Mrs Ekene Uju has already sent payment, so I need to confirm all my banking information with her agent in Nigeria too!
Mr Blessed Samuel sent me a beautiful letter today, that started with Hello Dear, and wants to bless me his millions before he dies too! I must have lived a good life to be so blessed!
Guess What? The United Nations Organization in London is sending me US $10,625,000.00 through Rev. Father Peter Daniels. He sent me 2 e-mail address of: rev_peter@gmail.com and rev_peter@people.com. Which one should I use to get my Swift Bank Transfer out of Nigeria?
Robert S. Mueller (alias franobi122@optus.net.com.au) who’s in charge of the Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crisis Division of the FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C. says that I’m to receive 15 million GB Pounds from C.B.N. Bank of Nigeria District. Which is equivalent to 30 Million US Dollars! And they are going to deposit it in Bank of America under my name.
But it’s all a top secret operation, so don’t tell anyone! Even George Bush gave his endorsement of the program!
Isn’t it great that these organizations and the FBI are fighting terrorism and giving me the money?
And I need to really check my medical records today. Digitek Heart Medication needs to know Did you or a loved one use Digitek? and I need to check to see if I need to read the Important Information for Leukemia Patients. I think I would remember if I had that, right?
Before I get any work done at all today, I need to submit my 4 applications to Get Financial Aid for College and submit my Spring 2009 Scholarship Application from Financial Aid Offer. Because I want to become a Pharmacy Technician so I can Allow Opportunities to know. I didnt’ think I could get financial aid anymore since I have more than a Bachelor’s Degree! Isn’t America great!
I also have to answer the Fed Govt who is asking me, “Do you need money?” I think I’ll tell them no because I’m just so rich with all these dying people giving me money, winning the UK Lottery, and selling my Time Share so I can get @CASH FOR YOUR TIMESHARE@. There is just so much wealth here, I don’t know why I was complaining how broke I was, and Obama isn’t even President yet!
But I also need to buy some Ink and Toner Cartridges from Simply Ink, so I can write my short poem and Win $10,000 in the Poetry.com Contest. I think I’ll enter my Halloween Spam poem. What do you think?
After that, I’ll go watch my Million Dollar Online Video from Roger Miller (not to be confused with the Roger Miller of Big Band Renown) about how to Earn a Fantastic Income From Home, while learning how to Profit from Craigs List.
And of course, Nick H. and his twin brother NickH wants to give me the Top 20 Travel Deals of the Week right to my inbox! I would really hate to turn that down since I’ll have so much money to travel now!
But I better head over to Vista Print because they are going to give me 250 Free Business Card Act Today! and I’ll need them when I contact Alice Barkley for the Inc500 Company Seeks Mangers Today! position openings. And Astonishing Opportunity sent me 2 offers saying a Large American Corp is Seeking Individual for Management Positions. I will need my Vista Print Free Business cards for that one too!
I just might reconsider the offer from Can You Work Tomorrow? because they are paying $225 a day…you must be able to work from home.
But since I’m so rich, I just may take my Pre-Approved Poker Pass from Pure-Play and just blow off the whole day playing poker.
There’s my treat to you my dear readers!
May you have a Spam-free Halloween - if such a thing is possible!
